You want me work in this heat? Nuts to you

Usually when Labor Day Weekend is in the back window, the night air turns crisp and we shake off the inertia of summer and dutifully with a spring in our step begin those fall projects with steely resolve.

Usually, that is. This year, not so much.

Mired in what could be the worst heat wave of the summer (yes, it still is summer), we sit sweating in our shorts and wife beater, banging out stories that require as little thought as possible.

Why? Because when you think hard, it makes it hotter.

Go ahead. Try it for yourself. See what I mean?

Outside the house, even without a breath of wind, three Macintosh apple trees drop an apple or so every minute languidly marking time as the dog days of September drag on and on and on.

Speaking of dogs, mine, a Huskie, border collie mix, can barely stay outside long enough to do her business before hurling herself at a porch door demanding to be let in immediately. If you don't she'll destroy a screen in seconds trying to get in when it gets this hot.

She prefers to spend her days lying in a corner on the porch listening to me type away. She barely moves all day just as I.

Meanwhile, up in the trees I hear the incessant, angry chatter of squirrels and chipmunks and imagine the male squirrel lying on a fat branch as his domestic partner chastises him for his laziness.

"Sure it's nice now, but in a few months it'll be freezing cold with three feet of solid snow beneath our feet. Get out there and gather some nuts and stop your loafin', you good for nothing rodent," I hear here saying.

"Aw shut up woman, it's too hot to work. They'll be plenty of time for work tomorrow."

"Is that all you can say, tomorrow? And I suppose next month it'll be too cold," she retorts hotly.

Hostility, you see, like thinking, makes you hotter, so I say let's not go there either.

Besides, there'll be plenty of time to patch the roof, chop some firewood and sweep the driveway tomorrow, dear.