Staff
Thursday, July 3, 2014 9:12 am

The 4^th of July holiday is summer’s signature party and it could be the BHE, Best Holiday Ever.

I submit to you: Look at the others.

Labor Day is the end of summer. Yuck.

Columbus Day is the end of nice weather and the leaves all die. Yuck.

Thanksgiving you have to stuff yourself uncomfortably, hang out with family and watch bad football. Yuck some more.

Christmas. You go broke and everyone returns your presents for a store refund cause they don't like your taste, plus all you do is get weepy and think about when you were a kid.

Martin Luther King Day. So sad, all you think about is a great man who died too soon. Plus it’s freakin’ cold out.

President’s Day. (Shoulda kept it Washington’s alone). Some of them don’t deserve a holiday. Plus everyone tries to sell you a car.

Memorial Day. So, so sad. Yet so proud. Remembering all those who died that we remain free is a wonderfully poignant, beautiful sentiment. But it’s not time for unbridled joy, like tomorrow. Plus if anyone next year says “Happy Memorial Day” to me, they may be putting up a memorial for themselves, just sayin.

So, the 4^th could be the best.

You have a cookout. Go for a boat ride or a swim. Watch fireworks. Eat watermelon. Spit seeds. Go to a parade. Hang out with family and friends. (It’s not as bad as Thanksgiving, because you can be outside and stay farther away from the one’s you don’t like.) Eat ice cream. Go fishing. Lie in a hammock (my all-time fav). Roast marshmallows. Eat s’mores. Hoist a cold one. Eat a hot dog or cheeseburger. Play some whiffle ball (birch tree first, horseshoe pit second, doghouse third and someone’s sweatshirt home). Go kayaking. Eat corn on the cob. Listen to fireworks exploding over Three Ponds till around midnight.

Fall asleep thinking, “Is this a great country or what?”