Cheetos Jehosafats, Biden's inflation boondoggle is attackin' my snackin'

Martha T. Soto Galicia

Some people get triggered by hearing themselves referred to with the wrong pronoun. Others object to calling illegal aliens undocumented persons. Still others object to calling undocumented aliens illegal persons.

Me? I get triggered when my football game snacks like I'm going to dive into in a couple of hours cost $4.49 for an eight-ounce bag. Like Cheetos and Fritos.

So who's the dumbass here? President Joe Biden who's making it pretty hard for "us average Joes" to get by.

Now 6 percent inflation didn't happen by immaculate inception.

It began on the president's first day of office when he killed the Keystone Pipeline.

That's why gas has gone up 40 percent, or to put it in real terms that are really painful: It used to cost $40 to fill up the car. Now it takes close to $70.

Now almost everything - right down to my Cheetos and Fritos - gets delivered by truck, so the price of everything you buy that gets trucked is going to go up.

In others works if it's trucked, you're ------!

Watch out for heating oil and propane to be at their highest level in decades.

And then watch as Biden allows Russia to build their own "Keystone" type pipeline to deliver oil - that's right fossil fuels - to Germany, while begging OPEC countries to produce more oil because we need more.

We were energy independent under President Trump. No more.

Biden's policies on energy may be stupid, but not on the border.

On the border he's downright dangerous.

You have to admit it's pretty rich that Canada and Mexico are finally opening their borders to fully vaccinated folk only.

I guess if you really want to cross the border without getting vaccinated you have to cross illegally. Not only will they feed and clothe you, they won't mandate a vaccination, and they'll fly you anywhere in the country you want!

And I'm sure when they get on a plane they're not asked to show their ID. That would be sooooo racist. Just like they say it's racist to ask folks voting at the polls to show an ID.

By the way if you're not agreeing with me, you're not black, as Biden famously said.

Wait a minute. That's a double negative.

Let's try to build back better that thought.

Here we go. So if it's racist to ask for an ID at the polls, isn't it racist to ask for anyone's ID anytime anywhere?

While you figure out your answer, I'm going to go downstairs and watch some football and savor my Cheetos and Fritos, all the more that they cost about 40 cents for each one.

And still, all the calories.

Martha T. Soto Galicia is the president of The Rochester Voice and dabbles in standup comedy.