For getting Powerball numbers wrong, it's 30 lashes with a wet noodle

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Spoiler alert

So what was my first thought this morning when I realized I hadn't won the $800,000 million dollar Powerball jackpot?


And my second thought when I read no one else had won it?


Final question. Why did I have "Spoiler alert" to preface this writing?

So if you hadn't read your Powerball ticket yet, you'd know not to read on, because then you would know you hadn't won before you had the exquisite fun of looking at your 40 tickets and realizing you hadn't won, and you had no food in the house for the rest of the week.

Well, don't worry, there's always Wednesday, if you can make it on Ramen noodles till then.

By the way, there's dozens of ways to fix those delicious noodles. Try #ramenduringbigpowerballprizedays #loser #pathetic.

Damn, if only I hadn't been watching those oh-so-slick, cleverly written, intoxicatingly spritzy jingles for Powerball all day long, I'd have money for real food, but no matter. Us and the little-uns will get by.

Before you get ready to call DHHS, not to worry, the little ones are just my dog and cat.

Whoops, before you call the SPCA, Princes and Sketch also like Ramen noodles just fine. (Believe it or not, while reading this out loud, Princess just growled out of the blue.)

Despite her chagrin, we wait till Wednesday.

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