Who cut the cheese? You? Dilly! Dilly!

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So, after a lifetime of reflexively denying ourselves the ability to pass gas, er, fart, we are now faced with a compendium of studies over the past decade that suggest by doing this we could be hurting not only our own health, but also our partner's.

A recent article in Reader's Digest noted that a medical professor found research that showed women's immune systems were boosted by being exposed to moderate amounts of flatulence.

And as everybody knows, no one delivers a pungent potpourri better than your average hombre.

But not only is it good for those around you - whom I call the fartees - but also the fart-er, too. Scientists have determined that it can help lower your blood pressure as well.

A 2012 study at Johns Hopkins found that hydrogen sulphide in farts is also produced by an enzyme that has been shown to control blood pressure in mice and that those mice with higher levels of the gas had lower blood pressure levels.

The point is guys, this is huge. This changes everything.

From now on, you can enjoy that bean burrito without the stigma of degradation, despair and self-loathing when you clear the livingroom with a gust of noxious, nostril flaring flatulence.

I think we can all recall being in some social situations when the temptation - whether right or wrong - was there to "really let one rip" but we didn't. (Remember, you can never get those back, either.)

When this happened I always wondered deep down - I mean really deep down - was this an anathema to my good health. Now, my suspicions proved correct, I shalln't do it again. (Be forewarned.)

In fact, the thinking now should be how to destigmatize passing wind by perhaps invoking a proper rejoinder from those around you.

Just like we say "God bless you" when someone sneezes, I would proffer that we say something like "Good health" or "Dilly dilly" when someone in your party let's go with a fusillade.

So the repartee would go something like this.

(A fart is heard)

"Who cut the cheese?"

"I did"

"Dilly Dilly"

(then all) "DILLY DILLY."

The point is why would we castigate or criticize someone doing something that is both good for the group and the individual.

Btw, guys, this column may come in handy tonight while watching the Patriots and eating some guacamole-onion dip with the chili and beer.

Just thought I'd do you a solid!

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